memoirs of relationships past

So much so that so little is seen

of what has really actually been

once a facade, a Shakespearean scene

but the audience never claps

memories come flooding in

reminders of what once has been

struggling to keep from caving in

when the news is broken

it had not been unexpected

life's goodness had been long rejected

relationships all so connected

now so distant like a dream

going going...gone

Psalm 27

-of David

 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

 When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

 One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.  For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.

 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

 Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.  Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.

  I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

******************************************************
One thing I have learned in my life is that nothing goes exactly as planned. Things change, cars break down, people can't make attend something, and yet through it all God is in control. When we are surrounded by problems we need to be more like David --he saw the problems, yes, but then put his focus on God. We do not need to face our problems alone, in the midst of trouble we can cry out to God and seek His help. Do not despair for God is right there!

       

Sweetly Broken

Sometimes it may seem that things are going nowhere but downhill but we are reassured in the Bible that God has all things working for the good of those who love Him. I have a planner with a quote that says "God will meet all our needs...but that doesn't mean all at the same time." Sometimes we need to be patient and endure suffering for a short time so that we can grow. People have told me that God never wants His people to suffer, but in Isaiah when it talks about how Jesus will come and be crucified it says that "it was the Lord's will to crush Him and cause Him to suffer" Isaiah 53:10. God's idea is not to annoy us and cause unnecessary suffering but to mold us into what He wants us to be: we have faults and sometimes the only way to fix them is to totally reshape us into something new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says "therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come". What we often forget is that we are not only made new but the old is taken away..not all at once but God works away at us to get rid of our sin and make us pleasing to Him. It may hurt for awhile but it is worth the pain...surrender to Christ, trust in the Lord, and He will make you new and better than you ever were before!



♫ At the cross you beckon me you draw me gently to my knees and I am sweetly broken, lost for words; so lost in love, I'm sweetly broken..wholly surrendered ♫

A View of Life from Macbeth

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28

When I'm Seeking God's Will...

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!  No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry. I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf.  Consider the people of Israel: Do not those who eat the sacrifices participate in the altar?  Do I mean then that food sacrificed to an idol is anything, or that an idol is anything? No, but the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to be participants with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons. Are we trying to arouse the Lord’s jealousy? Are we stronger than he?
   “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:12-24)

                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So...you've got it all figured out, eh! BAM. God throws something new into the picture and suddenly what apeared to be so simple and easy before suddenly changes into something complicated, raises questions, and seems almost unbearable. It's not the first time I've noticed in my life that as soon as I reach a point of contentment it seems my world is turned upside down...but no wonder, the world is always spinning I just don't always notice it.

Paul writes to the Corinthians warning them not to be content just standing where they are..."if you think you are standing firm be careful -lest ye fall". It is when we get overly confident that we let our guard down and fall into sin and temptation; it is when we get distracted by something other than God that we fall down and find ourselves crying out to God to save us yet again.

" Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.  But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”  “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”  “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:25-31)


SO... what's the point? Well now it all seems so simple: don't be distracted by the things of this world. Love God above all else. Don't let idols get in the way of your walk with God...don't look down...just TRUST in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding...and God will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5 paraphrase)

Blessings

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Matthew 5:3-5

Eric and Leslie Ludy have this to say about these verses: "You're blessed when you are out of options and all you can do is lean on God. Because when you realize you need God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasureable greatness and goodness. You are blessed when you've been stripped of what is most precious to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One who is most precious to you." (When God Writes Your Love Story, page 43)

*These verses mean a lot but often get skipped over as cliche and overused. Often times growth comes through struggles but when people go through struggles their response is not thankfulness for the struggle...they want to be rid of their struggles. Instead realize that problems we go through are given by God and planned by Him in such a way as to inspire spiritual growth and bring us close to Him. We get sidetracked thinking that surely problems cannot be blessings ---but they can be. When I personally go through struggles I love to praise God aloud especially remembering the verses of Psalm 34:

" I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
¹⁶ but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
²² The LORD will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Love in Action = Faith in Action

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:9-12

There's that word again, one that I'm sure everyone has heard of, has longed for, and has definitely experienced through God -LOVE-. I'm sure that I am not the only one with romantic notions when it comes to love and such things but what the Bible has to say about what love really looks like is very humbling! First of all the sincerity part, wow...it may seem obvious but I am sure that Satan uses our longing for love as a temptation to idolize it. Then there is the whole idea of having that 'significant other' who makes you feel special, pays attention to your needs, etc. all wonderful things but unless they are being done out of sincere love, which means 'honoring one another above yourselves', they mean nothing.

The verses that follow show that love is not separate from faith, "NEVER be lacking in zeal but keep you spiritual fervor, serving the Lord...". I remember a verse I learned in elementary school from Hebrews 11:6, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." This verse echoes what was going through my mind as I read the initial passage about love from Romans 12... The infamous 'love passage' in the Bible begins by saying that no matter what you have or what you do if you do not have love it means nothing.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."   and later in the same chapter... "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Could Contentment be Contagious?

^"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles." Philippians 4:12-14

There was a time not too long ago that I considered myself to have understood this passage. God provided me with an amazing family and blessings galore but I was able to travel to many different countries and see people who were in desperate need; somehow I felt that by going on mission trips my empathy counted as experiencing the needs of the people I worked with. Then I came to Dordt which is a wonderful place but I had to leave everything and everyone I knew behind. Yup...I had the whole contentment thing going on alright, but then God did what He does best and threw a new struggle into the picture. I felt like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof saying to God "Sometimes I think, when it gets too quiet up there, You say to Yourself, "What kind of mischief can I play on My friend Tevye?" But then again, as I thought back to Paul's struggles with a 'thorn in the flesh' and remembered God's answer when he asked to have it removed "My Grace is sufficient for you."   

...NOW .....

Somewhere, somehow I saw a small sign like this...

And I realized that I was wrong...Pollyana quoted her father as saying "When you look for the bad you will surely find it"and that's how the 'glad game' came about. Instead of searching for negatives and complaining why not count blessings? Ok, so back to the Bible passage...Paul continues saying "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" It is not me who does it but it is also not God doing it for me, He gives me the strength! That verse is popular but the next one is not so much, not only does God give strength but other people encourage and help by 'sharing' in Paul's troubles.    Bouncing back to me personally I realized that because of my struggles I have met some truly amazing people, just like Paul, people who 'share' in my struggles and pray about it with me. All this said, I do feel content now.  

SO, in answer to the title question 'could contentment be contagious' I say yes! God made us relational people and he gives us the strength to be content, and to encourage others. One of the ways God gives us strength is through other people. When one person is content others can see as well and they wish for the same....so PASS IT ON

Reflection on an Earlier Poem

Over a year ago I wrote a poem entitled Solitary Sleep, I just stumbled upon it and it got me thinking...

"She sits alone

in dark and cold

tired, sad, broken.

The sickness that

consumes her, leaves

her with nothing.

Nothing would be better

than to simply live again.

Her mind is filled with nothingness

as she sleeps for hours on end.

She tries to wake her foggy mind:

no, her eyelids are too heavy

and so, all friends abandoned her...

said, "Come back when you're ready".

Slowly, slowly her eyes fall open

but pounding pain disturbs her brain...

a teardrop rolls slowly down her cheek

followed by many more, and sobs that have her weak.

The solitude of her painful existence

leaves her wishing to again feel nothing...

so off she drifts; alone again...

no longer remembered by even one man

to lonely, empty, sleep."

(*this poem is not meant to be analyzed...it's meant to stir emotion)  ...Ok, I made that rule and now I am going to break it...I accidentally analyzed it comparing myself to the subject of the poem. Perhaps it is because I have been sick lately, I have felt like doing nothing but sleep and this is how the subject in the poem feels as well. That dark, numb, tired feeling is one I know all too well these days yet I am so unlike to character in the poem. Instead of having my friends abandon me they rallied close and have been nothing but kind and caring, even letting me nap in their beds when I am falling asleep :) I can only thank God for the wonderful people He has put in my life, and trust Him to know what is best for me. I guess the difference between myself and the girl in the poem is the friends we have...hers left, mine stayed close ...and one verse comes to mind

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Proverbs 18:24

Stillness, Struggles, and Strength

College has been interesting, to say the least. By now it has gotten past the excitement of living away from home and constantly meeting new people...it has become somewhat repetitious. Each week I go to my classes, complete my assignments, go to work, and run into many of the same people in the cafeteria. Then comes the glorious week-end with friends, fellowship, and the best day of all SUNDAY. It is on this day that I must be careful to keep it a day of sabbath rest and not too full of visiting people or running back and forth from nursing home singing to game night to worship to volunteering for different things....yup busy-ness is not hard to come by on a "day of rest".

I strongly beleive that helping out and doing good things is great but sometimes we take on more than we can handle. We may be surrounded by 'Christian' events and opportunities yet we don't have time to pray on our own or just to sit still for awhile...this isn't right! No matter what you should always have time to 'chill with God'. And then there is that other struggle of PRIORITIES...rather than grabbing a Bible and getting on our knees we get excited for "me time" and take a nap or pop in a movie...sure God is there but often we ignore Him. We need to remember that God is always there for us, but sadly we often do not give Him the time of day. We would rather spend countless hours on facebook or youtube than talking with God and reading His word. So here's a challenge I'm doing until December ...giving up my 'precious' facebook...no checking it, no status updates, no peeking even! I would challenge you to do the same, a number of my friends have done it before me so I didn't make this up but I realize that this is something I need to do right now. This November I want to "Be still and know" that God is who He says!

Hmmm...that covers the stillness but not the struggles or the strength...but I am tired, very tired in fact so I will write as fast as possible to 'finish' according to the title. I already said I am tired, due to what I will deem my current struggle...health issues which so far no doctor has figured out completely. This is tough, especially because I have very little energy but I have amazing friends here who are helping me through it. Thank you so much to those who have talked me through the pain, taken me to doctor appointments, helped me up when I was passed out, held my hand, given me hugs,  supported me as I walked, and driven me to the hospital late at night! God has obviously placed some very caring people in my life and I can't thank Him enough for that! It is truly amazing how I have so many dreams and plans yet they get held back so easily because of some stupid pain. And yet I know there are millions of people worse off than me, so kudos to them for dealing with life! At any rate that struggle is part of teh reason I feel I need to just be still and know who God is...which finally leads to the next part...my strength:

I know, and am still learning or coming to realize each day that God is the source of all my strength. I can do nothing without Him! No matter how much weight I can benchpress, no matter how far I can throw something, no matter how much I think I can be strong and deal with my own problems the truth is that it is only with God!

Knowing You, God

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." Ephesians 1:17

Oh Father. Each night I talk with you, a good long talk where I just empty my heart of everything that has happened over the day. You know what is best for me, and I know that I just have to trust you but it's hard to sometimes! I've struggled a lot with the questions of what I should do with my life, where I should go to college, and how you are going to use me --I thought I had it all figured out but then you throw something new into the mix. Ever since I arrived on Dordt's Campus I've heard the foundational questions 'Who are you?' 'What is God's plan for your life?' 'How are you serving God NOW?' I truly have to keep thinking...This is my life---is this who I want to be?

And then there is the people thing I was so worried about before I left home...I came to this place with no church, no family, and no friends and WOW You provided me with a church that is truly a blessing full of people who care and a Pastor who preaches from Your word connecting it to my life. You brought people from all over the world here together to be friends and to be an encouragement. You even provided people to help me with technology so I can communicate with my family back home! What can I say but THANK YOU! I realize that you give me the strength to start each day with a huge smile...and it makes me so happy to see other people join in!

At times I feel overwhelmed with all the work and assignments and scheduling things that come up. At times I feel overwhelmed with all the kind people and gifts you provide for me. At times I feel overwhelmed with how to be a shining light for you--how to be authentic and encourage others to do the same. But at this particular moment in time I feel overwhelmed with that JOY unspeakable. You have blessed me immensely, now help me to stay close to you and share the gospel with everyone I meet! AMEN.

College Freedom

I have officially started college, well not classes but living the life. So far my favorite day has been Sunday, a day jam-packed with worship. I attend the URC and in the evening attended the all- campus Praise & Worship where the whole auditorium was full of people, all unique, all different, yet with one thread in common : we serve the LORD. We sang together, we knelt in prayer together, we embraced and got to kow eachother a bit better. It seems all my insecurities that popped into my head as we drove up were washed away and replaced with joy and peace, and a desire to stay living in this way. It's amazing how for a long time I was excited about the freedom that College would bring -life on my own, no parental supervision, etc. And then the Pastor at Church put it into perspective for me quoting
           "Freedom is best when the boundaries are well-defined"

He then went on the give an illutration of a fish in a tank wanting freedom from the walls around him, but when he got out he died; 'freedom' killed him. It is the same way with us, when we try to free ourselves from God's rules we die to sin and lose our true liberty.

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor."

A Graduation Poem

In just a few short days I will be graduating, and decided to write a poem. See, people ask all the time about how excited I am, what my plans are, etc. But this is one of those times when I don't know what to expect...it may be liberating to graduate but it may also be a leap out of my comfort zone, and all I have ever known. I will be going to university more than a thousand kilometres away from home and my emotions flip-flop from being excited to live on my own and make my own decisions to anxiety about not having friends and family (who have given my so much encouragement and support) close by. Recently my Admissions Counsellor sent me an encouraging e-mail...and I was reminded of  Joshua when he was called to go far away...(see verses after poem)...

At Any rate....here is the poem I wrote :)

The end, marked by a date...
many people cannot wait,
I know not yet what to think
of the past that flew by in a wink
of the future that eagerly awaits
or the master plan that God holds safe.

Someday I can look back
and remember with a laugh
the many trials I thought mattered
that now have faded and shown
that God knows what is best
and His plan always has success

For now I am uncertain
of what lies behind the curtain
of the future; but I have faith
that God will be there always
no matter where I go

Joshua 1:7-9
 ⁷ "Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Reflection of a courthouse visit

*a reflection I wrote after a class visit to the London Courthouse back in April....the man was released and all charges were dropped

“I was in prison and you visited me...” Well, actually you were in court and I was just on an educational trip with my law class so it was more watching than visiting. With eager eyes and listening ears we walked into the building eyeing the weapons in the belts of the security people as we passed by. A sort of majestic feeling passed through me as we entered the federal courtroom on the twelfth floor complete with a large coat of arms at the font of the room. Honi soit qui mal y pense… “Spurned be the one who evil thinks” written on it and here we were in a room where good versus evil fought (or rather Regina versus the accused). Later, in the same room, built to accommodate a large number of lawyers for the trial of the notorious biker gang the ‘Bandidos’ a case involving an ‘H group’ member was tried. The H group members are “slaves” to the Hell’s Angels, another notorious biker gang. As the man who I dubbed ‘Tattoo man’ was questioned I started to piece together the facts of the case, not unlike the investigators would have had to do. At first impression the case was simple: Tattoo man had been apprenticing at Tattoo World, a business next to the police station, and after a certain Agent Bradford had followed him around for several days a drug bust had been organized on the business. Instant success as the officers found cocaine in a basement furnace room and lidocaine* in a coffeepot, also found were some personal belongings such as a letter addressed to Tattoo man as well as his drivers license. Obviously Tattoo man was guilty; the cocaine must have been his and he was using Tattoo World as his FOB (forward operating base) while having all legal authorities believe he lived at his mailing address he was actually living in the basement of Tattoo World, dealing in coke acting as a the middle man for Hell’s Angels who had painted the basement door red (the official colour of their gang). Case closed…at least in my mind at first. But wait…the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms deems people innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. So, I fought to follow Tattoo man’s defence. Tattoo man had not been caught in possession of cocaine, and his knowledge of lidocaine was not illegal, lidocaine is not even a controlled substance. No one had any proof that Tattoo man knew about the cocaine in the basement, he only came there for bathroom breaks and the occasional party. Perhaps the only reason Tattoo man was even being ‘blamed’ for this was because of all his previous convictions which the crown prosecutor said “prove a total disrespect for the law”. “I wouldn’t say that.” was Tattoo man’s dismayed reply. After no further questions, and a long recess from court our class was left to wonder what would become of Tattoo man. I wonder if he was innocent. Mr. Allister, our guide even said it…some of the people in the crowded downstairs prison are probably innocent, but still are treated the same as the real criminal offenders until they are tried and proved innocent. I couldn’t help but wonder how our justice system compares with that of Jesus’ day so many years ago. He was tried in a trial where no one spoke in His defence, the looks on the faces of those who were present probably condemning Jesus with blatant hatred. There was no ‘innocent until proven guilty’ rule as Jesus stood before the Sanhedrin, in fact Pilot declared Jesus innocent yet Jesus was still flogged, hung on the cross, and mocked with intense hatred and evil thoughts. Words from Matthew 25:40 race through my head as I think of how Jesus compares himself with the least of these… “Truly, I tell you whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine you did for me.” The ‘scum of the earth’ those nasty creepy criminals who cover their bodies in tattoos and poison their systems with drugs…these people too are created in God’s image and were created for His glory. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). They too need to hear the gospel and repent of their evil deeds. “He who is stealing must steal no longer…” (Ephesians 4:28a). Instead of accusing and judging we ought to be loving and share the good news of salvation…prison is a great place to start especially when we remember that we would be in the same place were it not for the grace of God.                                                                                                                            

^{*lidocaine is often used to dilute cocaine when it is cut because cocaine numbs the gums and lidocaine has a stronger numbing effect as an anaesthetic so users are duped into believing the diluted version is stronger than it really is}

Colours

Another random poem I wrote last year...

there are lines everywhere;

differences that make people stare...

an obvious gap in the human race

and based on what?

ethnicity, culture, color

when will people learn

that God made uniqueness?

when will they see past

deep human weakness?

If love is blind why don't we all

stumble around, and fall?

Some accuse others of being racist

when they themselves are the first

to judge, to ignore, to exclude

when will they learn

that God loves all children?

when will they see past

the outside, and find beauty within them?

never in a fallen world

where children die and parents leave

until we live in God's land of perfection

if to His promises we cleave

now waiting for the better day

please do not just walk away

change,  act, love

Solitary Sleep

I wrote this poem last year sometime...and was kinda feeling sleepy and blue so I thought I'd post it

 

 

She sits alone

in dark and cold

tired, sad, broken.

The sickness that

consumes her, leaves

her with nothing.

Nothing would be better

than to simply live again.

Her mind is filled with nothingness

as she sleeps for hours on end.

She tries to wake her foggy mind:

no, her eyelids are too heavy

and so, all friends abandoned her...

said, "Come back when you're ready".

Slowly, slowly her eyes fall open

but pounding pain disturbs her brain...

a teardrop rolls slowly down her cheek

followed by many more, and sobs that have her weak.

The solitude of her painful existence

leaves her wishing to again feel nothing...

so off she drifts; alone again...

no longer remembered by even one man

to lonely, empty, sleep.

(*this poem is not meant to be analyzed...it's meant to stir emotion)

kinda hits home...Isn't it Funny

Funny how a $20.00 bill looks so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the mall.

Funny how big an hour serving God looks and how small 60 minutes are when spent watching television, playing sports, sleeping or taking a lunch break.

Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are but how short they are when watching a good movie.

Funny how we get thrilled when a football game goes into overtime, but we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.

Funny how small our sins seem, but how big their sins are.

Funny how we demand justice for others, but expect mercy from God.

Funny how when something goes wrong, we cry, "Lord, why me?" but when something goes right, we think, "Hey, it must be me!"



...Or wait...maybe all this isn't so "funny" after all. (Author unknown)

God is not a microwave

"God is not a Microwave"...that's what my friend told me...and it's true!

So often I wish, like the Pure NRG song Someday says "If it was up to me my life would be a blueprint on the table...and every year would have a label.." I've wondered lately about God's plan for my life...it seems like every time I think I have everything figured out God tweaks things a bit. It's hard to follow through with the verses that say to 'wait for the Lord'. But that little statement "God is not a microwave" show how impatient I (and many other people in this culture) have become. We expect to put a prayer in punch in a few numbers and pull out the answer we wanted..at just the right temperature too! But God is not like that...as hard as it is to remember it may take years for God to answer a prayer or reveal what He is doing in your life...and even then He may not answer the way we want Him to.

After all that ranting, and as much as it sometimes worries me...God does know best! He may withhold something 'good' from us so that we can have something much better later on! I suppose I'll just have to trust and pray...and delight myself in how awesome and holy God is...He knows what is best! Honestly, a gourmet meal that took hours to cook is worth the wait compared to a quickly heated and eaten hot-dog.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

ps. I don't know if my friend wants to be named on here so I'll give the credit to Lima echo echo Alpha november november :)

Kaitlin's Legacy...

 

When Kaitlin Boyda donated her wish from the Children’s Wish Foundation to build a well for children in Uganda, no one could have imagined how infectious her generosity would become. Inspired by the story of Kaitlin’s generosity, caring individuals from Korea, the UK, Australia, the United States and all across Canada came together to provide over $265,034 in funding for Compassion’s water projects in Africa, benefitting thousands of children and their families.

Kaitlin went to be with the Lord on May 5, 2011 at age 17, leaving behind a legacy of faith and compassion that has impacted the lives of thousands and we at Compassion Canada are profoundly honoured to have been a small part of her wish. In lieu of flowers, the Boyda family has requested that a donation be made to Kaitlin’s Legacy, continuing to provide water for children in need and completing the work began by her simple act of faith.

https://www.compassion.ca/donation.asp?intid=57 

"And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." Matthew 10:42

Come to the Shepherd

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young"

Isaiah 40: 11

At a conferance some time ago I had the opportunity to speak with Pastor Zylstra and he told me a story that I have often thought about since then...

A couple who had drifted away from the church lost a child to cancer and asked their pastor why God would do such a horrible thing as taking away their child...the pastor told them this story...

A shepherd was having trouble with one ewe in the herd...he would call her but she refused to come. She always wanted to do her own thing, blaze her own trail, but this meant she was often in danger. A sheep needs to be in the herd and close to the shepherd to be safe...this ewe was not.

The shepherd wanted to protect this ewe...but she was stubborn and would not listen to the shepherd. The shepherd resorted to his last option...the ewe had a young lamb who she would not leave, so the shepherd took the lamb away from her and carried it around so the ewe stayed close by. It took the loss of a 'child' to bring the ewe to the shepherd...

sometimes God takes something away from us to bring us back to Him!